JCM Cinema
Capital

As you may have noticed, I have just added SHREK FOREVER AFTER to my portfolio, shorting it at $331. It was recently brought to my attention that I am short on most of these films. That is because this nascent market is wildly overvalued.

Take IRON MAN 2 for example. Shorting it at $403 - let alone its current price of $406 - is a no-brainer. Only two films in the history of mankind have grossed over $400 million in their first 24 days: THE DARK KNIGHT and AVATAR. Does IRON MAN 2 look wildly cool and entertaining? Yes. But asking it to AVERAGE over $16 MILLION A DAY is simply ridiculous. James Cameron's full-court press and the added 3-D ticket price made AVATAR's first $400 milli possible. With THE DARK KNIGHT, even your grandmomma knew of Batman. Unless she's a hot granny under 50 or comic book fangirl, I promise you she's never heard of Tony Stark.

So I short. I short, I short, I short. I short SEX AND THE CITY 2 at $185 because the first one grossed $153 OVER ITS ENTIRE RUN. I short THE A-TEAM because the '80s are over and it joins a crowded action tentpole marketplace that will have ROBIN HOOD, PRINCE OF PERSIA, and IRON MAN 2 already out, competing for the same dollars. I short PRINCE OF PERSIA because videogame adaptations have been notoriously tricky to be profitable (and definitely not for $173 mil in 24 days). And even IRON MAN 2 is at least $100 million overvalued.

I short, I short, I short. Until the film derivative community figures it out, I suggest you do the same. Together, it's time for us to GET SHORTY.